PNG

Do you want a beautiful fun in the sun vacation or do you want a life-changing experience where you are tested and pushed beyond the limits of what you thought you were capable of?  PNG or Thahiti?  Indonesia or Vanuatu?  

These people need you more than you know.  THey are untouched by American eyes.  Satan must not claim them.  We will claim them for Jesus.  What would you have me do, God?  Last night I dreamt of the faces of those in need.  THe mud people of PNG.  THey looked like demons but then I realized that they had life behind their eyes.  God gave me compassion and took away my fear.

I feel called to Tahiti but maybe not right now.  What if God wants me to help start the Tahitian YWAM base?  What if Tahiti is my future and PNG is my present?  It will push you to the limits of your physical capabilities.  It will mold you and shape you into the wittness God wants you to be.

what's next?

People keep asking what my plans are for after DTS.  The truth is that I don't know.  The options are limitless.  I want to serve God and I want to keep moving forward with Him guiding me.
Right now we're preparing for outreach.  We're planning some skits and a song to share with churches around the world.  We're doing fund raisers at churches in the area to raise money to send out all of the students.
Life is good.  God is good.

Fingal

First off, let me apologize for not keeping up with this blog.  My mom warned me not to post "too much" because the whole world can see what I write and potentially use it against me.  Guess there's good and bad to everything.

I just got back from Fingal.  This is a picture of my good friend Davita getting baptized.  She was baptized at sunrise in the ocean.  It had been raining but the clouds opened up and let the sun shine through.  After the baptism, the clouds covered the sky again.  It was a beautiful sight.  


God has been teaching me so much.  He has washed away my regrets of the past and let me see that life is full of possibilities.  Happiness.  After many long walks on the beach on the "singing sand" I found myself in awe of God's magnificent creation.  The ocean was several shades of blue, teal, tan, clear and the waves splashed in pure white.  The sky was pure cobalt and I couldn't decide what was more beautiful... The sky or the ocean.  


The biggest challenge has been learning to wait on the Lord.  I think I talk too much while praying.  But, there is beauty in stillness.  How does one learn to open her mind to the things of Christ without her own thoughts and emotions crowding the space?  

Fijian Rugby

            There are approximately 20 Fijian men staying with us for the next two weeks.  They are good looking, polite, attractive, fun-loving, nice teeth, (I could go on.)  This will be fun.  They love watching American television for some reason.  They watch it with subtitles.

            My favorite escape of the day has been my daily run.  Normally the run only lasts a half hour but it’s great to get off the base and see the country.  Today I stole off at sunset and saw beautiful landscapes of palm tree silhouettes and the first star rising across a dark sky. 

            I left my wallet at Hillsong.  Today Tania, the base director, took me to the church/ bible college to retrieve it.  All of the cash and contents were still there.  Amazing.  It was nice to spend some one on one time with Tania.  She is like a second mother to all of us.  So loving, so strong, forgiving, understanding; yet forceful. 

            Today is Alipate’s birthday.  He is also Fijian and enjoys having the rugby team here.  The boys here feel like brothers and most of the girls are good friends.  I am so thankful to be here.  We’re learning how to recognize the voice of God right now.  Our speaker, Ettione is great!  He’s South African and has enough energy to keep the whole class engaged for hours.

Preconception

        Had my first real encounter with prejudice today.  I’ve seen it before, but never been the brunt of negative assumptions that I knew of.  Today, before prayer, a German girl started to cry, turned to me, and said she needed to apologize for having bad thoughts about me when she first met me.  Me!  Out of everyone in the group, she judged me.  She said that Europeans have a general preconception that North Americans are stupid, uneducated, and shallow. Perhaps they are right to a degree.  We are very prideful and are raised to believe that America is the best nation with the strongest military.  Why are we the best?  Who gave us the right to run around telling other nations how to live or how to operate?

She also said that because of the way I look, she assumed I would be rude and conceited.  I had no idea how to respond to this outburst of honesty.  By the end of this course, I truly believe that all of the students will consider each other to be brothers and sisters.  An extended family is already being formed.  Right now, however, there are major walls being broken down.

There is a Fijian rugby team staying at the base for the next two weeks.  They all speak English so I will make an effort to get to know them starting tomorrow.  Tonight it is time for bed.

I’ve had nightmares about sexual immorality, lust, and broken relationships since I got to Sydney.  Husbands cheating on their wives, dreams about men I’ve been interested in the past, ex-boyfriends, etc.  The nightmares actually began before I left for YWAM now that I remember correctly.  Today two girls, LaChelle and Clancy, and our class leader, Gary, prayed that I would be released from these demons.  They reminded me that I have been washed of my sin through the blood of Christ.  I am not my own; I have been bought with a price.  LaChelle believes that Christians cannot be possessed but they can be oppressed.  I tend to agree with her.

Today we went to a petting zoo where we encountered Koala bears, kangaroos, lizards, dingoes, etc.  It was fun but I’d rather see them in their natural habitat.  

Day 3

            Our days are packed.  I stole away for a 20 minute run yesterday.  Though extremely short of breath, I felt free.  Going from living alone to a small room with 10 roommates and 35 housemates is quite a switch.  My biggest difficulty is staying awake in the classroom.  The things the speakers are saying is great but I cannot focus my attention for more than an hour.  Perhaps its because church sermons are one hour in length and that’s the only auditory learning I’ve engaged in for the past five years. 

            One Fijian girl here is 28 years old.  We shared our stories of how our lives were changed yesterday in a group.  Her story is very similar to mine though we were on opposite sides of the globe.  Every student here is easy to talk to because we all have the common bond of seeing Christ first in our lives. 

            The morning devotionals and quiet times have been amazing.  It’s a time of solitude where only God can come in.  He’s been speaking to me and I’ve been writing it down.  Afterwards, the page laying in front of me is scribbled with truth specifically written to me.  It addresses my life and my struggles but looks like a page town out of scripture.  Hard to describe.   

Skipped A Day

Left on August 25, 2010, flew a total of 22 hours (26 hours travel time,) skipped August 26^th due to the International Date Line, and arrived in Sydney on August 27, 2010.  Made it to Island Breeze, Sydney.  YWAM’s DTS has a lot to offer.  It’s strange to think that these thirty plus strangers will soon be my family.  Everyone is friendly and we are all here with one common purpose – to answer the call of Jesus.  They plan to turn us into warriors who are whole-heartedly strong for Jesus.  Fearless, unapologetic, courageous.

Right now I’m trying to be open.  Amidst so many distractions, I can’t lose sight on the One who is most important.  The Reason why I am here is to lose it all for Christ.  I can’t hear him speaking to me right now but it’s been hard to listen.  YWAM seems like a six-month intensive Christian camp.  Reminds me of spruce lake but a bit more extreme. 

We are supposed to have Sunday and Monday off to engage in free time.  I plan to explore this country during that time.  There is a train station within walking distance that can be taken into the city or to the beach. 

Things to buy:

1.     Hairspray

2.     Bathing suit

3.     Wetsuit

4.     Watch

I feel completely cut off from the outside world.  Perhaps this is a good thing.  We are allowed three hours of internet time a week.  No video Skype.  I suppose all I will have is email.  

Transition

Just landed in Auckland, NZ.  Ran into Daniel Morris and his friend – the dirt bike riders from Melbourne.  They are very nice but I still feel uncomfortable engaging in prolonged conversations with strangers.  Hopefully I’ll learn to let people in but right now I’m much more comfortable with quick passing short meaningless conversations.  Unfortunately, I was more comfortable with these types of conversations in my life in Denver as well.  Is it that I lack depth or that I’m afraid that people will see that I’m not smart?  This is something that must be overcome is I ever plan to share truth and meaning with the world. 

The accent here is incredible.  People speak quickly and use slang terms I’ve never heard before.  On the flight from LA to Auckland, I sat next to a very kind thirty-year-old writer/golfer.  His adventures were inspiring.  He would give everything he had to live in New York City.  Funny how I gave everything I had to live in Australia.  He suggested we swap lives and passports in order to live out our dreams.  He would have to pass as a woman and I would have to grow out some facial hair. 

The airport in Auckland is very quiet.  Most likely it has something to do with the early hour of 6:15am.  Two hours different than Sydney.  Perhaps someday Bonnie and I will have a chance to explore New Zealand together.  I can just picture us riding the train, sleeping in hostels.  The boys I’ve met recommend against backpacking and hitchhiking.  They said the wrong kind of people would pick you up and take you to a place you don’t want to be. 

Air New Zealand is an extraordinary airline.  The staff wears grey business suits and is incredibly friendly.  I’ve only packed a few long-sleeve clothes and it is very cold here.  The entire country is just coming out of winter. 

To do list:

1.     Learn Celsius

2.     Learn the states in Australia

3.     Learn the metric system. 

Time to board.  

Fearless

I got this tattoo in black light ink.  Once healed, it will be completely clear and will only show up under a black light.  Just a little reminder to fear God and live simply (less is more.)  


Today the adventure begins...  This morning Karah, Ben, and my Mom made an amazing breakfast of fruit and corn pancakes (the thin delicious kind.)  Making corn pancakes is kind of a family tradition.  I hated them as a kid and used to pick out the corn, but now I love them.  My parents drove me to Erin's place in Philadelphia (an amazing loft near Penn's landing.)  It was great to see her.  She moves to Denver on September 7th.  We just barely missed each other this time but I know we're life-long friends.  That makes it a little easier to say goodbye.  


My flight to LA was quick seeing as I slept 60% of the time... Face down on the tray table with my seat in the upright position.  When I finally awoke, I found myself sitting next to the most delightful 12 year old and her glamorous mother.  An actress living out her dream in LA (so inspirational) and the most well-spoken 12 year old I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.  They were both those creative dreamer types who actually DO and LIVE the things they dream about.  


I've always felt emotions very deaply.  Extreme end of excitement or happiness have been countered with hollow depressions.  During this transitional time I knew I would be facing one or both of these emotions.  So three weeks ago I prayed for peace.  This peace is so unlike my character and I can only aknowledge that it is God-given.  But I've felt this amazing serenity and calm during the move, leaving my friends and family, while packing, during the flight, etc.  No fear.  God has made me fearless.