Ressurection

I just stumbled across my blog today and felt that it was time to bring it back to life.  Most of my experiences and ideas recorded in my online time capsule brought back fond memories and timeless insights.  My experience at YWAM was a catalyst which launched me into a deep, intimate relationship with my Creator.

Since those days, so much has changed.  I now live in Boulder, Colorado with five roommates and one very special black lab named Shiloh.  It can be a bit chaotic at times but the joy and growth that is only found in community is something that I am incredibly grateful for.

Picture this... Late night conversations around a fire pit, the scent of organic food cooking in the kitchen, health routines, shared bathrooms, movie nights, long walks around the neighborhood... This is daily life in Boulder these days.

And then there is one of my greatest joys.  The boy down the street, across the walking bridge and two blocks up.  Van Traynor Breithaupt.  We have a new morning routine of walking to each others houses and meeting up for a leisurely walk around the block.  I've come to cherish these morning walks as I take in the view of gardens being drenched by perfectly timed sprinkler systems.  Occasionally I'll see an old man sitting on his front porch, soaking in the rays of morning sunlight.  Why is it that neighbors are more prone to wave in the morning?

There's something to it.  Mornings are sacred and only those who have tasted and seen the glory hidden in them will fight for that time and set it apart.

PNG

Do you want a beautiful fun in the sun vacation or do you want a life-changing experience where you are tested and pushed beyond the limits of what you thought you were capable of?  PNG or Thahiti?  Indonesia or Vanuatu?  

These people need you more than you know.  THey are untouched by American eyes.  Satan must not claim them.  We will claim them for Jesus.  What would you have me do, God?  Last night I dreamt of the faces of those in need.  THe mud people of PNG.  THey looked like demons but then I realized that they had life behind their eyes.  God gave me compassion and took away my fear.

I feel called to Tahiti but maybe not right now.  What if God wants me to help start the Tahitian YWAM base?  What if Tahiti is my future and PNG is my present?  It will push you to the limits of your physical capabilities.  It will mold you and shape you into the wittness God wants you to be.

what's next?

People keep asking what my plans are for after DTS.  The truth is that I don't know.  The options are limitless.  I want to serve God and I want to keep moving forward with Him guiding me.
Right now we're preparing for outreach.  We're planning some skits and a song to share with churches around the world.  We're doing fund raisers at churches in the area to raise money to send out all of the students.
Life is good.  God is good.

Fingal

First off, let me apologize for not keeping up with this blog.  My mom warned me not to post "too much" because the whole world can see what I write and potentially use it against me.  Guess there's good and bad to everything.

I just got back from Fingal.  This is a picture of my good friend Davita getting baptized.  She was baptized at sunrise in the ocean.  It had been raining but the clouds opened up and let the sun shine through.  After the baptism, the clouds covered the sky again.  It was a beautiful sight.  


God has been teaching me so much.  He has washed away my regrets of the past and let me see that life is full of possibilities.  Happiness.  After many long walks on the beach on the "singing sand" I found myself in awe of God's magnificent creation.  The ocean was several shades of blue, teal, tan, clear and the waves splashed in pure white.  The sky was pure cobalt and I couldn't decide what was more beautiful... The sky or the ocean.  


The biggest challenge has been learning to wait on the Lord.  I think I talk too much while praying.  But, there is beauty in stillness.  How does one learn to open her mind to the things of Christ without her own thoughts and emotions crowding the space?  

Fijian Rugby

            There are approximately 20 Fijian men staying with us for the next two weeks.  They are good looking, polite, attractive, fun-loving, nice teeth, (I could go on.)  This will be fun.  They love watching American television for some reason.  They watch it with subtitles.

            My favorite escape of the day has been my daily run.  Normally the run only lasts a half hour but it’s great to get off the base and see the country.  Today I stole off at sunset and saw beautiful landscapes of palm tree silhouettes and the first star rising across a dark sky. 

            I left my wallet at Hillsong.  Today Tania, the base director, took me to the church/ bible college to retrieve it.  All of the cash and contents were still there.  Amazing.  It was nice to spend some one on one time with Tania.  She is like a second mother to all of us.  So loving, so strong, forgiving, understanding; yet forceful. 

            Today is Alipate’s birthday.  He is also Fijian and enjoys having the rugby team here.  The boys here feel like brothers and most of the girls are good friends.  I am so thankful to be here.  We’re learning how to recognize the voice of God right now.  Our speaker, Ettione is great!  He’s South African and has enough energy to keep the whole class engaged for hours.

Preconception

        Had my first real encounter with prejudice today.  I’ve seen it before, but never been the brunt of negative assumptions that I knew of.  Today, before prayer, a German girl started to cry, turned to me, and said she needed to apologize for having bad thoughts about me when she first met me.  Me!  Out of everyone in the group, she judged me.  She said that Europeans have a general preconception that North Americans are stupid, uneducated, and shallow. Perhaps they are right to a degree.  We are very prideful and are raised to believe that America is the best nation with the strongest military.  Why are we the best?  Who gave us the right to run around telling other nations how to live or how to operate?

She also said that because of the way I look, she assumed I would be rude and conceited.  I had no idea how to respond to this outburst of honesty.  By the end of this course, I truly believe that all of the students will consider each other to be brothers and sisters.  An extended family is already being formed.  Right now, however, there are major walls being broken down.

There is a Fijian rugby team staying at the base for the next two weeks.  They all speak English so I will make an effort to get to know them starting tomorrow.  Tonight it is time for bed.

I’ve had nightmares about sexual immorality, lust, and broken relationships since I got to Sydney.  Husbands cheating on their wives, dreams about men I’ve been interested in the past, ex-boyfriends, etc.  The nightmares actually began before I left for YWAM now that I remember correctly.  Today two girls, LaChelle and Clancy, and our class leader, Gary, prayed that I would be released from these demons.  They reminded me that I have been washed of my sin through the blood of Christ.  I am not my own; I have been bought with a price.  LaChelle believes that Christians cannot be possessed but they can be oppressed.  I tend to agree with her.

Today we went to a petting zoo where we encountered Koala bears, kangaroos, lizards, dingoes, etc.  It was fun but I’d rather see them in their natural habitat.  

Day 3

            Our days are packed.  I stole away for a 20 minute run yesterday.  Though extremely short of breath, I felt free.  Going from living alone to a small room with 10 roommates and 35 housemates is quite a switch.  My biggest difficulty is staying awake in the classroom.  The things the speakers are saying is great but I cannot focus my attention for more than an hour.  Perhaps its because church sermons are one hour in length and that’s the only auditory learning I’ve engaged in for the past five years. 

            One Fijian girl here is 28 years old.  We shared our stories of how our lives were changed yesterday in a group.  Her story is very similar to mine though we were on opposite sides of the globe.  Every student here is easy to talk to because we all have the common bond of seeing Christ first in our lives. 

            The morning devotionals and quiet times have been amazing.  It’s a time of solitude where only God can come in.  He’s been speaking to me and I’ve been writing it down.  Afterwards, the page laying in front of me is scribbled with truth specifically written to me.  It addresses my life and my struggles but looks like a page town out of scripture.  Hard to describe.